Open your mind to new activities and events

No matter where you find yourself, there are going to be new events and activities that you have the opportunity to take part in.  Though you may feel like you don’t belong there, take a chance.  Most likely you do belong there because the activities are aimed at the community, and like it or not, you are now part of the community!

Here in Madison, there is a symphony performance every Wednesday night in the center of town.  Honestly, I am not a huge fan of the symphony.  But a large number of people attend these events, so I make an effort to show up.  Maybe I don’t love the entertainment, but I do feel like I am a part of something local, and that helps.

Your new stomping grounds may not have a symphony every week, but they most likely have sports teams (professional or amateur), and making an effort to attend their games will help you feel like you are a part of something new.

Stay in touch with your old life, but do not rely on them

I still have much of my former life in Columbus, Ohio, and I plan to have that for a long time–good friends, a business, and a steady relationship.  Obviously, I stay in touch with them on a regular basis.   However, I learned that I cannot rely on them in the same ways I did before because they are not here, and they have trouble understanding my state of mind because they aren’t dealing with the same changes I am.

I learned quickly that the best thing to do is to limit my contact with them (except my girlfriend) to text messages, emails, and Facebook messages.  This allows me to keep up with all of the gossip, sports talk, and other current events.  However, it limits the personal connections that really make me wish I was there.

Accept contentment, don’t expect perfection

I have a distorted perspective on my time in Columbus, and I realize it, but it does not stop me from believing that life was perfect.  I know there were problems, things weren’t always easy, but I don’t think about that stuff when I remember.  What I end up believing is that where I live now cannot compete with (or even compare to) the past four years of my life.

So the best thing to do is look at the positive aspects of my new city, and work on becoming content with it.  While I can talk about Columbus as if it was God’s gift to earth, and I can even believe it all I want.  But I still need to teach myself to say, “Columbus was heaven, but it’s not like I moved to hell.”

Don’t force yourself into the role of a big fish in a small pond (or big fish in a big pond)

I had four years to build up a reputation in Columbus.  I did whatever I could to become a recognizable person with a good reputation with plenty connections.  I have been here in Madison for a month, and the last thing I should do is to act like I have proven myself here.  But I have to be careful to not act like I am useless either, because I know that I am capable of adding value to the community and to my new company.

The best thing to do in this situation is to look at this as a new opportunity to build a new reputation and start to form a new network here.  This is my way of “climbing the ladder,” and taking my new life in stride.

Give yourself something to look forward to

New city or not, it is important to always have something to look forward to.  When we were kids it was the first day of school, or a baseball game or golf match.  These events were handed to us.  Our parents put us in school, and signed us up for sports.  Now it is necessary for us, as adults, to create these new opportunities.

One option is to join a class at your gym that meets once or twice a week.  Maybe you could start a new hobby like joining a recreational softball team.  Just make sure you start small as you find your way in your new community.

Also, and just as important, make sure you plan large (even if it’s only large in your mind) events to look forward to.  For example, my girlfriend came out last weekend; I looked forward to that for a month.  In a few more weeks, I am going to a fraternity brother’s wedding and I’ll be catching up with old friends.

I keep a calendar that marks both large and small events in my life that I can look forward to, and when days seem endless, it helps to look up and count the days until you get to do something new that you enjoy.

It is never an easy transition to fit in to a new place, especially one that is very unfamiliar to you.  Just remember to take it day to day, and try this advice.  Before you know it, you will start referring to your new “location” as “home.”

I always thought that this was a deal breaker for me. If I was incapable of explaining the benefits of the advertising, then the client was going to be a waste of time. No matter how persistent I was, I would never be able to close the deal.

I was wrong. What I needed to realize was that I don’t just have an online advertising medium., I have first-hand knowledge about the market they must attract in order to have a successful business.

Since making that realization, I now go into every sales call knowing that if they won’t pay cash to advertise on the website, I have a few other tricks up my sleeve that they could make use of.

Consulting

This is the best way to take advantage of the knowledge I have of the market. On numerous occasions my business partner and I have sat down with restaurant owners, and marketing directors to tell them what they need to do to increase their customers. And more often than not, it works. Sometimes we do this work pro bono, and we are fine with that because we know that it will eventually lead to a sale.

Co-Promotions

Like all websites, our main goal is always to increase our traffic. As part of our marketing plan we always include co promotional events and advertising from our clients. This includes free food giveaways, where we pass out fliers and provide signage, and coupons that we promote exclusively through our website. This increases our traffic, and our online orders.

Trades

This has recently become my personal favorite. If restaurants are not willing to shell out the cash for advertising, then make a trade. My most recent trade was with my favorite bar on campus. I now provide them with bar advertising, and they comp all of my food and drinks. This is ideal because I have a place to bring my laptop, do work, and watch the red sox with a beer, free of charge. How cool is that?

These are a just few ways to make the best of what seems like a broken deal. Don’t give up, if you get creative enough, you can always close a sale.

It goes without saying that the main reason for changes in the way we communicate over the last decade or two go hand in hand with advancements in technology. Hailed as some of the greatest inventions in the modern era, cell phones and the internet have succeeded in instant globalization and streamlined communication of the world we live in. But these same technologies have also started to slowly destroy the personal facet of communication.

One main facet of communication “destroyed” by advancements in technology is our ability and desire to meet people and present to audiences. It used to be that death was consistently ranked as the greatest fear to humans. Slowly, public speaking crept up the list, prompting comedian Jerry Seinfeld to half-heartedly joke that, “…according to survey results of what we fear…your telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.”

The latest number one fear in social situations: a party with strangers.

What can account for the rise in fears of communicating with and in front of other individuals? People are increasingly communicating while hiding behind computer screens, through instant communication mediums such as instant messaging and e-mail. We take certain liberties in what we communicate when we are not confronted with the recipients face to face. Adding to the problem is our increasing inability to confront individuals with something they said while using technology to communicate. Tough subjects are easier to deal with when not face to face.

Instant messaging and text messages have streamlined the way in which we actually know how to converse. Conversing is truly an art. And great art is accomplished through practice. And what does most of our generation practice when conversing? What’s up, How’s it going, and ttyl. Try having a conversation face to face using the same language in which we practice for hours on a daily basis on the internet. You quickly realize how impersonal and rather awkward the conversation is.

Most people have realized this disconnect, and instead of engaging in more verbal, face to face communication to gain confidence, have instead turned to fearing situations in which communication is necessary. We resort to loud music and alcohol to make parties more tolerable, and then turn right to Facebook to approach the attractive guy or gal standing in the opposite corner. Have something rather emotional to say? Shoot the recipient a text message displaying your desire to see them and hope they reciprocate by only responding via text. And the problem hasn’t even begun to show up on the radar. While I send maybe two hundred text messages a month, my younger sister sends three thousand plus. And it’s not just her, its everyone her age.

So we stand at a crossroads. Just as a work/life balance is a necessity to us, a computer/human balance needs to take shape in the best interests of communication. At what point does our society break from the use of the same technology we know has changed the way our world operates to assure that we can still walk into a room of strangers, present, and walk out knowing everyone in the room? How do we stop ourselves from fearing social situations? These problems are hard to identify and acknowledge currently, but they are real issues that are going to be more and more prevalent in the near future. The internet has provided a great means for our generation to voice opinions, and initiate change. But we must still be able to rely on true human interaction to execute our greatest dreams.

Why does this really matter anyway if an entire generation is growing up with this as the norm? Well submit your opinions and stay tuned for next week’s post discussing the necessity of communication in post-college life, if not your entire life.

That’s right, I used my spring break, the same way that I used my winter break. I used it as an opportunity to get away from school, to try and make some money and to advance my career.

I started out in Columbus. I was there for the first few days trying to get as much done as possible. I got in touch with some clients that I needed to, and I spent some much needed time on the couch, watching movies and television.

Finals took a lot out of me, but they also allowed me to get away from the constant pressures that seem inescapable. They allowed time to get my mind off of things, and to try and focus on one thing at a time. It was refreshing, but at the same time, I felt like I lost a little control of everything I try to manage. I guess it is a give and take.

Finally, I left Columbus to take a trip up to Canada with a few friends. We were there for two nights, and it was pretty boring. We went to a city called Windsor, just across the river from Detroit. The main difference was that 19 year olds could drink. I went out the first night, found no fun in it, so I slept the next night.

The next portion of my Senior Spring break was a trip to the warm climate of Madison Wisconsin. I went out there to help my brother and his company find an office, and to help them get some of the extra things done that they didn’t have time for.

Believe it or not, this was the absolute highlight of my break. A startup company is an incredible spectacle when you are looking at it from the inside. I learned about the day to day operations, and all of the time that goes into it. I have experienced this before with my company, but not to this degree, and it really blew my mind. The little things are very important, and it is a constant battle just to keep up with the emails, and to stay on top of the changing business climate.

If I realized anything in the past few days, I realized that you can do a lot more with your time and your money then go to an island and drink until you puke (which I have done). I gained some legitimate business knowledge, and I had an experience I will never forget.

This is just another example of the balance between life and fun, and when they go hand in hand it is a priceless experience.

This week marks the culmination in a slow change of lifestyle that I have been making over the last several months. It started with the decision to change majors, followed by the goal of actual physical activity as a means to losing weight and getting in shape. Since making these changes, entering the blogosphere, and the introduction of a slew of other mind and body techniques, my life seems more fulfilled and me more content than I have been, well maybe ever.

What I have learned since altering my approach to life is that the idea of vacations, or breaks as most collegiate students are more familiar with, is really just a week or more stretch of breaking completely lose to only recall how much disdain you have for your true daily routine. Here are a few techniques to introduce into your routine to make vacations less needed, and the majority of your life more enjoyable.

Explore the mundane - let the meaning find you.

As I write this, I am sitting on a train from Boston to New York, on the way home from spending St. Patrick’s Day with friends and visiting Boston for the first time. I could have easily drove or flown and cut the time of transit down significantly. But I enjoy easy mass transit, watching the world through a window on a human scale, and the ability to actively engage in mindless activities. Reading and writing on a five hour train ride fit the bill perfectly.

Key Point: Doing the things that are easy and accessible on a daily basis allows for downtime and provides large amounts of food for thought for whatever you are going to have to get done when you return. Take a bus ride instead of driving, ride the train instead of flying. Sit on a park bench instead of in front of your computer instant messaging your friends what’s up, what r u doing, and ttyl. However long you engage in these activities doesn’t matter, it’s the break the mind receives from the constantly moving world we are a product of that will provide a daily mini-vacation.

Find what pleasures you easily with the least amount of work.

Call me old fashioned, but for me it’s drinking a cup of tea while reading the daily paper in a dimly lit coffeehouse with light music playing in the background. This perhaps is one of the most relaxing activities I engage in on a regular basis. It simultaneously provides a relaxing beverage, an environment to reflect in, and a place to learn about the world - whether through people watching or reading the paper-the personal development in the awareness of the world around you is incredible.

Key Point: Find an activity that could take as little as fifteen minutes to a few hours a day (use time-management wisely) that provides immeasurable amounts of down-time that fosters a relationship between relaxation, continual mental growth and self reflection. Reading a book, listening to light music, sitting in a hot tub, exploring a museum, or walking through a park are all great activities that meet the goals of this technique.

Break your addictions slowly and with respect to your needs.

I need to sit in front of a computer. I don’t care what I am doing on it. As of late most of the time is blindly spent searching the web, especially other blogs. In the beginning it was necessary, as it provided material to write about, and participated in me grasping a better understanding of what the world of blogging was and how to utilize it. But as with any addiction, it started as a guilty pleasure and ended as habitual.

Breaking the habit become admittedly more and less easy to break when my desktop hard drive crashed last month and I purchased a laptop for the first time. Now there are plenty of times when I travel to a destination other than my house with free internet access and my new best friend the laptop, but I am much more efficient and productive with my computer without the internet connection. I now don’t check ahead with my destination to ensure free wi-fi and I end up productive half the time, and in my standard blind searching the other half. Either way you look at it I am 50% more productive.

Key Point: Figure out what is absolutely necessary in your life, and what is just secondary time-wasting material. Then make the distinction between the secondary material that you enjoy, and the secondary material which you partake in because it has become a bad habit. You’ll know what to get rid of.

The goal of each step is to experience a mini-vacation on a daily basis, making the yearly ten day blow-out less necessary, and even more rewarding. Everything mentioned can be done on as little time as a lunch break. Who knows, you might even end up back at school or work after lunch with a smile on your face.

For more ideas on mini-vacations and introducing relaxation into your life on a more consistent level read Step IV: L is for Liberation in Tim Ferriss’ book The 4-Hour Work Week and on his companion website and blog.

Generation- Y is cautiously optimistic, a by-product of our ability to process the huge amounts of information that the world around us is now able to produce. This allows for global events to influence us on a detailed, daily, and constant level. The Challenger Disaster, Persian Gulf Wars, the Oklahoma City bombing, the Columbine shootings, dot-com error bust, 9-11, and the current state of our economy combine to make us cautious of the world around us.

While there is a lot to be cautious about, not one of us is troubled or worried that we can’t make it. Our optimism stems from our ability to use the information we interact with on a daily basis as the root of our problem solving abilities. We take in lessons of the past, compare it to the current state of our society, and produce solutions by creating new products and ideas for the future.

Gen Y has an overwhelming concern for our surroundings

While many argue that Generation-Y is the “Me-Generation,” I have a completely different view of who we really are. Sure a lot of our statements begin with “I” and end with “me,” but it’s a means to get to a point and a position to help “you,” better yet, “we.” I refuse to work for a corporate company in a cubicle making $50,000 a year to merely support myself; I am interested in gaining personal wealth to use as a means of bettering the world around me.

I have little interest in a lavish lifestyle; it’s the positive impact on a portion of society that will be my true wealth.

Don’t measure the success of Generation Y in terms of money

Apple deserves a lot of credit for their latest commercial marketing the iTouch, the lyrics to Brendan Benson’s song is overwhelmingly successful in defining the Generation-Y market: “Well I don’t know what I’m looking for, But I know that I just wanna look some more, And I won’t be satisfied, ‘Till there’s nothing left that I haven’t tried.”

There are no clear paths to adult life anymore, but Generation Y knows this intuitively; achieving conventional goals in unconventional ways is a great way for us to learn. That process of discovery is a pretty cool way to spend life.

Our paths will cross, our ideas will grow, and our access to new ideas and vast information means that our success will be incomparable to anything before us. Just don’t look for all us to be wealthy as a result of money. For Generation Y, wealth will not be in the form of money, but in the form of happiness and contentment from solving problems and contributing to the community.

Throughout this major transitional period, I’ve reached out to the people I trust most. I regularly ask for advice from my parents, my brother, and even my ex girlfriend.

They’re all more than willing to help me, and their advice gives me some of the answers I need in order to make some difficult decisions. But, I always find that at the end of the day, when I’m ready to stop everything, and get some sleep, I always question my tactics. I constantly ask myself, “am I allowing myself to grow when I continue to reach out to others for every predicament I find myself in?”

I don’t think the answer is as simple as yes or no. There is a lot more to it, and in order to find the answer it took some serious self-reflection.

I thought about how I could change my approach, how I can use this time period to become as independent as possible, and continue to make decisions that satisfy me. Well, the truth is I was reaching out to these people because I convinced myself that they knew me better than anyone. But I was wrong. They don’t know me half as well as I know myself.

Consider this, I was given the choice of what sports to play, where to go to college, who to date, and what to make of myself. My parents and the majority of my friend’s parents tend to back off, and let us make these decisions. Then, once we make the decision, our parents are there every step of the way to help us succeed.

The lesson here is simple. Reach out if you actually need help, but if you can do it yourself you’ll get a sense of accomplishment. And here’s a bonus: Knowing when to ask for help and when to go it alone is actually a way to get more done and be better at what you do.

1. They think they deserve special treatment

You complain that we feel like we deserve something in the work place. But you assume that you do, too. I get it: you’re older, you work harder, you have earned your way up that corporate ladder. Yet every time you have a marketing meeting you talk about how different the world is. You use words such as Facebook, Twitter and blogging, while you have almost no idea what they mean or how to use them, and then you assume that your Generation-Y colleagues aren’t capable of making decisions as well as you can with regards to the very same social media we grew up with.

Why we aren’t different: We assume we don’t need an explanation for why we shouldn’t have to wait to climb the ladder, while you feel like you don’t need an explanation for why you belong there.

2. They have an almost-blind faith in political change

Yes, Obama is young; sure he might lack experience. But that’s not the point. Obama represents a dream and a vision that we can make a difference; we can be the leading civilization in the world on everything from eradicating diseases to protecting our planet’s resources. Not just saying we are going to do it, but actually doing it.

While on the campaign trail sixteen years ago Bill Clinton had two key points hanging on the wall in his campaign office: “Change vs. More of the Same” and “Don’t Forget about Health Care.” Sound familiar?

Why we aren’t different: We all want change when we are not the ones in charge. Every generation had someone representing them in the campaign for change.

3. They work really hard at hyperly-focused goals

Parents, we hear you, you worked very hard climbing that corporate ladder to do great for yourself - financially — and you provided amazing environments for us to grow up in.

But just like you didn’t have enough money, we didn’t have complete happiness. We truly believe that will never buy happiness. So now we talk about volunteering, and changing majors, and switching jobs to search for happiness and you just don’t get it. Every time we change directions you see it as us being misguided, and, dare I say, failing. We see it as searching for happiness instead of money.

Why we aren’t different: You work, work, work for money, we work, work, work for happiness. But we both need balance.

So you see, neither one of us is better. We operate under completely different assumptions with completely different goals and mindsets. A lot of your bitterness comes from your envy of us, but you know what? We envy you, too.

I also realized that the way I dress has a direct impact on how I feel about myself. When I put on a decent outfit I automatically walk a little more confidently, I get more involved in class discussions, and my overall productivity increases.

You never know who you are going to run into, so here are a few examples of how guys can casually dress up to make the best impression at all times.

Dress pants and designer jeans

Yes, it’s true, they are more expensive. But if you shop correctly, and do your research, you can limit yourself to two pairs of jeans, and three pairs of slacks. Also, look to outlet malls. I bought a $215 pair of jeans at Barney’s outlet store for $30. A little luck maybe, but because I shopped around and didn’t irrationally purchase jeans for full retail at Nordstrom’s I found a great deal.

Blazers

I love it. Go for it if you have the chance, but keep your surroundings in mind. For example, if you are going to a college bar overrun with “townies” trying to get into a fight, take the blazer off. Also, keep in mind that there are many types of blazers. I own everything from light colored corduroy, to black pinstriped. The occasion determines which I wear.

Last week I had a meeting with a large newspaper publication here that wanted to partner with my company. I wore a dress down blazer, nice t-shirt, and nice, unwrinkled jeans. I went into the meeting confidently, and came out successful. I can’t give all of the credit to the outfit, but I really think it helped.

Presentation Outfit

You will no doubt find yourself in many situations where you need to make a presentation. I’ve given presentations in everything from Linguistics to Biology to Marketing, and I’ve given a handful of guest speeches to entrepreneurship classes. One thing I’ve kept constant is my appearance. Whether I was required to dress a certain way or not, I always dressed up. Knowing that I look good gives me the confidence to get in front of groups of any size, and present with self-assurance.

Next time you attend a large class, or go watch a speaker, keep an eye on the audience. You can tell that when someone is dressed up, whether they’re an 18 year old kid or a 50 year old CEO, the spectators always give them more attention, and they usually become more involved in the presentation.

Don’t limit yourself to special occasions.  Keep your appearance up at all times.

Passion quickly became the main theme of the conversation. Regardless of everything else I had to talk about, that was the one thing that the older generational interviewers in the room really took interest in.

So I begin discussing what I was actually passionate about. I quickly began to talk about my commitment and dedication, both to my values, and to those who have supported me on my journey to achieving what I am looking for. I began discussing my desire to work tirelessly for any company or individual that would put their trust in me, simultaneously providing me with opportunities that bring me closer to achieving my personal goals.

One woman, seemingly astonished by what I was saying asked; “Is that how your generation approaches work, and is that the attitude that most of you come into the real-world having?”

Answering yes was easy for me. I feel like I know what I want, I know what I desire, and I like to think I know the subsequent outcome of my actions; it’s the path to the actual success I am trying to reach, on which I must rely on others for help. And so, when others offer me a hand getting down the path I have put myself on, I do everything I can to make it as valuable for them as I know it is for me. On the other hand, I know that yes would not be the answer our entire generation would respond with to that question.

When the event came to an end, I again approached a few of the interviewers to close up any lose ends, thank them for coming, and ensure that our paths would meet again. In addition to wanting to continue our discussions, I wasn’t so opposed to discussing possible job opportunities as well. It was in these concluding exchanges when one man looked at me and said, “Your success is going to lie within your loyalty.”

Ultimately the night was a success, but I was left with more questions to ponder. What is my loyalty worth? How can my dedication, commitment and passion be conveyed? Will my devotion and assurances be rewarded in the appropriate ways? And above all else, why do we still continue to look at GPA and SAT scores to determine who gets their foot in the door first?

At no point during the night was I asked what my GPA was. My audience was captivated by a dream, a vision and a promise that only those who know what they are looking for can deliver upon.

Too often our generation looks to very broad answers as a means of standing out. But only when these broad answers have a deeper context and thought process behind them, is when that door will open both ways, defining the future success of the individual, and the company which puts a stake in that very same person.