Communication - Our Greatest Fear?
Posted on Mar 30, 2008 By Matt GoldbergIn some form, language, dialect, or motion, all of us have participated in communication since the day we were born. It seems plausible to assume that communicating is an additional human sense and ability that evolves with the world around us. Increasingly however, this assumption is becoming outdated.
It goes without saying that the main reason for changes in the way we communicate over the last decade or two go hand in hand with advancements in technology. Hailed as some of the greatest inventions in the modern era, cell phones and the internet have succeeded in instant globalization and streamlined communication of the world we live in. But these same technologies have also started to slowly destroy the personal facet of communication.
One main facet of communication “destroyed” by advancements in technology is our ability and desire to meet people and present to audiences. It used to be that death was consistently ranked as the greatest fear to humans. Slowly, public speaking crept up the list, prompting comedian Jerry Seinfeld to half-heartedly joke that, “…according to survey results of what we fear…your telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.”
The latest number one fear in social situations: a party with strangers.
What can account for the rise in fears of communicating with and in front of other individuals? People are increasingly communicating while hiding behind computer screens, through instant communication mediums such as instant messaging and e-mail. We take certain liberties in what we communicate when we are not confronted with the recipients face to face. Adding to the problem is our increasing inability to confront individuals with something they said while using technology to communicate. Tough subjects are easier to deal with when not face to face.
Instant messaging and text messages have streamlined the way in which we actually know how to converse. Conversing is truly an art. And great art is accomplished through practice. And what does most of our generation practice when conversing? What’s up, How’s it going, and ttyl. Try having a conversation face to face using the same language in which we practice for hours on a daily basis on the internet. You quickly realize how impersonal and rather awkward the conversation is.
Most people have realized this disconnect, and instead of engaging in more verbal, face to face communication to gain confidence, have instead turned to fearing situations in which communication is necessary. We resort to loud music and alcohol to make parties more tolerable, and then turn right to Facebook to approach the attractive guy or gal standing in the opposite corner. Have something rather emotional to say? Shoot the recipient a text message displaying your desire to see them and hope they reciprocate by only responding via text. And the problem hasn’t even begun to show up on the radar. While I send maybe two hundred text messages a month, my younger sister sends three thousand plus. And it’s not just her, its everyone her age.
So we stand at a crossroads. Just as a work/life balance is a necessity to us, a computer/human balance needs to take shape in the best interests of communication. At what point does our society break from the use of the same technology we know has changed the way our world operates to assure that we can still walk into a room of strangers, present, and walk out knowing everyone in the room? How do we stop ourselves from fearing social situations? These problems are hard to identify and acknowledge currently, but they are real issues that are going to be more and more prevalent in the near future. The internet has provided a great means for our generation to voice opinions, and initiate change. But we must still be able to rely on true human interaction to execute our greatest dreams.
Why does this really matter anyway if an entire generation is growing up with this as the norm? Well submit your opinions and stay tuned for next week’s post discussing the necessity of communication in post-college life, if not your entire life.
Posted In: Generation Y, Relationships
Comment by Jaclyn on the March 31st, 2008 at 11:55 am
Hey Matt, I definitely hear your thinking on this. I’m also concerned about the impact of all this electronic communication, the Internet has its limits. Communication is definitely an area where we have to make a conscious effort to have a balance between the real and the virtual. I think people need to force themselves to make a call or have a face-to-face meeting even though doing things electronically can be a lot easier.
Comment by Michael Henreckson on the March 31st, 2008 at 8:23 pm
The fact of the matter is that electronic, text-based conversation just isn’t the most efficient in all situations. It’s great for a quick message to a lot of people, but it’s not as great for an exchange of ideas. In that case a face-to-face meeting or a phone call makes more sense.
Sometimes we do hide. I’d send an email to almost anyone, but I’d be much less likely to make a phone call. For some reason phone is my least favorite, and I’d rather do an in-person meeting than a phone call with someone I don’t know. But we need to make sure we don’t forget that the real world exists.
Comment by Glenn on the April 2nd, 2008 at 8:20 pm
I found your blog a few weeks back, and have really enjoyed reading it thus far — but this post, in particular, takes a problem I am intimately familiar with and hits the nail on the head.
Despite all that I read about ’social networking’ and Generation Y’s preoccupation with developing relationships and making lasting connections, most of my peers have a lot of trouble with face-to-face communication… and they completely freeze during public presentations. And I will admit I have personally experienced occasions in which I have had trouble meeting people and connecting at large social gatherings, yet find that I get along with them remarkably well via email or Facebook the next day.
Over time, though, I have learned that it’s a matter of putting yourself out in the open and doing what you can to make enough of an impression to get your foot in the door. That is the most difficult task for me, but once I can get that far in building a relationship, I have no trouble with one-on-one follow-up meetings, — the challenge for me lies in dealing with congregations of large numbers of strangers.
Like you said, this problem boils down to balance: utilizing technology at the right times without ever becoming too dependent. And I believe that those who find that balance now will surely be at an advantage in the future.
Comment by Matt Goldberg on the April 2nd, 2008 at 11:59 pm
@Michael-I think its interesting that you say the phone is your least favorite. Your right with the exchange of ideas. I think however, with products like Google Documents coming online, technology will become more conducive to idea flow. No matter what though, you still won’t be practicing verbal communication skills.
@Glenn-I agree, once your in there are not as many issues, its beginning the relationship that is proving to be tricky. I also find it amusing that Facebooks’ main agenda is increased communication with those you don’t see daily, but its approaching the point where it is making daily interaction less common.
Comment by Ben Overmyer on the April 9th, 2008 at 9:06 am
Matt, you’re very correct in your observations.
However, I do have one question - do you believe that, compared to 1950, our communication styles have changed all that much? While we do have fast, easy ways to communicate now, it seems to me that people are just as concerned with public appearances now as they were then.
In my studies of WWII-era America, I increasingly found similarities in how Americans interact between the two decades. It’s not that big of a shift, other than through technology.
So, the real question is…how do you improve the frequency and quality of face-to-face social interaction?
Comment by Keep Your Writing Formal: It May Help You Get Hired « The Paperweight on the July 30th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
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