Self Reliance as a Productivity Tool

Where should I apply for a job? Where do I want to live? Who should I date? Now that I’m at a point in my life where these decisions are starting to matter, I definitely put more thought into them.

Throughout this major transitional period, I’ve reached out to the people I trust most. I regularly ask for advice from my parents, my brother, and even my ex girlfriend.

They’re all more than willing to help me, and their advice gives me some of the answers I need in order to make some difficult decisions. But, I always find that at the end of the day, when I’m ready to stop everything, and get some sleep, I always question my tactics. I constantly ask myself, “am I allowing myself to grow when I continue to reach out to others for every predicament I find myself in?”

I don’t think the answer is as simple as yes or no. There is a lot more to it, and in order to find the answer it took some serious self-reflection.

I thought about how I could change my approach, how I can use this time period to become as independent as possible, and continue to make decisions that satisfy me. Well, the truth is I was reaching out to these people because I convinced myself that they knew me better than anyone. But I was wrong. They don’t know me half as well as I know myself.

Consider this, I was given the choice of what sports to play, where to go to college, who to date, and what to make of myself. My parents and the majority of my friend’s parents tend to back off, and let us make these decisions. Then, once we make the decision, our parents are there every step of the way to help us succeed.

The lesson here is simple. Reach out if you actually need help, but if you can do it yourself you’ll get a sense of accomplishment. And here’s a bonus: Knowing when to ask for help and when to go it alone is actually a way to get more done and be better at what you do.