Dating and Technology: The College Perspective

Have you ever woken up in the morning, and checked your cell phone, only to see three text messages and ten missed calls from numbers you’ve never heard of? Have you gone through the address book in your phone to see numbers stored under “don’t call”, or “mistake?” Well if you’re in college, and you make the social scene a part of your life, this should be a familiar scenario.

College dating has grown parallel to the change and introduction of technology, and it’s changing the way people get to know each other, the way they introduce themselves, and the way people meet, in general. There’s no more guessing involved.

There are some technologies you need to watch out for, and there are some you should definitely use if you want to make the best impression.

Facebook

Some guys skim through their Facebook friends and find an attractive girl, send a message to her, and make an attempt to take her out. I’ve done it before, it’s not something I’m proud of, and from my experience it can actually be quite embarrassing.

However, I can see why people do it. I mean, why not? You can easily look at someone’s profile and see if you have a lot in common. Maybe you’re both involved in Greek life, or you like the same kind of music, or maybe you have a few friends in common.

If it works for you let me know, but I think Facebook should be used the same way you do research for a sales call. Find out a few things about the person, then bring it up in a face to face conversation. You’ll have much more success that way.

Instant Messenger

Creepy!! Avoid this at all costs. If you’re going to IM someone randomly, make sure you do it when you’re sober, you can see daylight outside,, and you have a good reason. If not, you may as well be a stalker. I trashed AIM about a year ago. It makes a terrible first impression, and probably won’t lead to anything. I also got rid of it because it is a huge distraction. Now I use Google Chat because the people on my Google list are typically close friends, business contacts and family.

The Text Message

My personal favorite… Text messaging can do a lot. First of all, texting allows you to say things that you may not be able to say in person. This can be good and bad. Just keep in mind, you are going to have to live up to whatever you say if you end up seeing the person (which is the original goal).

Just the other day I received a few text messages from the girl I had been dating. She decided to break up with me, via text message! It wasn’t so bad, I mean I didn’t have to get an explanation, and we didn’t really talk about it, it was pretty simple. It made the dreaded breakup much easier, but it was really lame.

While I’ve learned firsthand that its not a good break up technology, texting is my favorite way of communicating with someone I just started dating because it allows you to let the person know that they’re on your mind without being a complete pain in their ass. Just don’t overdo it with the texts, and like notes in high school math class, only send them if they’re worth it.

Cell Phones

We all have a cell phone now, and when you get someone’s number at a bar, it’s difficult to obey the “Two day rule”, because a phone call is a button away. However, you really need to restrain yourself, especially from the dreaded drunk dial. If you happen to overdo it on the booze and mistakenly drunk dial someone, you may as well kiss that potential future relationship goodbye. If they do answer, and you end up meeting that night it probably isn’t worth it anyway.

Technology changes all aspects of life, especially in college, and it truly is unique for our generation. Access to anyone is a click away, but I’ve learned that you need to determine what you are looking for before you use all of your resources. If you’re just looking for a one night stand look into the drunk dial, late night text, or random IM. However, if you’re really looking to meet someone, take my advice into consideration, and let me know how it works out for you.